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Job Description: Parent

by The Kid's Doctor Staff

If the job for “Parent” was listed in the classifieds, here are the skills needed for the position.

Long term team player for challenging work in a chaotic environment.  Excellent communication skills long hours, nights, weekends and on call 24/7.

imagesResponsibilities?  Parenting is for the rest of your life. No retirement! You must be willing to be un-liked until someone needs $5 and be willing to bite your tongue repeatedly.

You must be physical and have the stamina of a pack mule and be able to go 0 to 60 in 3 seconds in case the screams from the backyard are not just someone crying wolf.

As a parent you must screen calls, maintain calendars coordinate homework projects, plan social gatherings for all ages.  You must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.

Possibilities of a promotion? Sorry, there is none. You will remain in this job as a parent for years, without complaining and always updating your skills.  Previous experience? None required…this is on the job training.

As far as salary?  You have to pay your kids! And there will be bonuses for good grades and chore work!  Then there’s a balloon payment when they are 18 because the assumption of college will help them become financially independent! There is no health or dental insurance, no tuition reimbursement no paid holidays.

Here are the benefits! Limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, hugs and kisses for a lifetime!

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